I'm writing this to thank you for stranding me in Cincinnati last night. Despite the fact that I arrived 15 minutes before my flight to Columbus was set to leave, you oversold the flight and prevented me from sleeping in my own comfortable bed last night. I also want to thank you for not making my bag easily accessible so I won't have a fresh change of clothes for my flight back tomorrow. This is important since I sprinted from one side of the airport to attempt to make my flight and and the dried sweat will enable me to attain that wonderful sweaty hobo smell for the flight home tomorrow.
I'd also like to thank you for putting me up in a Holiday Inn for the night. They provided me with a delicious dried out Roast Beef sandwich, potato chips and pretzels. Since they didn't include a drink I was forced to plunk out $1.25 for a coke. I'd also like to thank the holiday inn for putting me in a room that's been in so many different movies. The room looks exactly like the setting of any number of late night movies that appear on Cinemax and HBO...not that I watch these movies but John tells me about them all the time.
Thanks again for a wonderful experience. I'm looking forward to my flight home tomorrow where you will probably lose my luggage.