Retro Round-up for September 11
Written by Cyril Lachel on 9/12/2009 for
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Retro Round-up
Every week Cyril Lachel comes down from his giant castle in the hills to provide the final word on all of the classic downloadable games and retro compilations. This is the Retro Round-Up, your official guide to the best (and worst) in classic gaming for the Nintendo Virtual Console, Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network. Join us as we shed some light on what games are worth your five or ten dollars, and what games you should avoid at all costs. For more information about these games (and retro gaming in general) we invite you to check out Defunct Games.
This week we complete the original Super Star Wars trilogy with (SURPRISE!) Super Return of the Jedi. As good as these games were, I'm glad we can finally stop talking about these early LucasArts games. Also be ready for DSi haikus and a Contra Rebirth limerick. All that and more can be yours in this week's Retro Round-Up!
Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (LucasGames)
What Is It?
After releasing both Super Star Wars and Super Empire Strikes Back, it was inevitable that Nintendo would eventually upload Super Return of the Jedi. As a fan of the original and an admirer of the second, I'm a little lukewarm when it comes to this Ewok-infused third installment. The game still has good graphics and easy to master gameplay, but a part of me felt like I was simply going through the motions. We get a number of Return of the Jedi-inspired levels and boss fights, but some of the game has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. You also have to deal with a punishing difficulty, including one of the hardest 16-bit boss battles I've ever come across. Fans of the movie will no doubt want to see how this trilogy ends, but I feel like maybe two games was my limit for this series. Still, the graphics are sharp and there's a lot of game here.
Does It Still Hold Up?
Super Return of the Jedi doesn't deviate much from Super Empire Strikes Back. You get the same controls, the same vehicle levels, the same power-ups, the same everything. It's really disappointing; I wish they would have used the opportunity to make some significant changes to Super Return of the Jedi. But, like the most recent movie prequels, LucasArts knew they could half-ass it knowing that people would buy anything with "Star Wars" in the title. I was hoping for more.
Is It Worth the Money?
If you're the type of person who beat the second game and wanted more of the same, then Super Return of the Jedi is for you. Everybody else may want to cautiously wait to see what Nintendo uploads next week. There is such thing has having too much of a good thing, and my fill of this franchise came towards the end of Super Empire Strikes Back. But be warned, Star Wars fans, this will likely be the final half-decent Star Wars game released on the Virtual Console.
WiiWare Limerick Theater
Every week Nintendo announces their new Virtual Console offerings. But what you may not know is that they also announce the newest games for the Wii's specialized WiiWare channel. This is the place where you can download cheap smaller games, the type of titles you would only pay a few dollars for. Thus far we haven't spent much time covering these hidden gems, but today that's going to end. Starting today we're going to cover the WiiWare line-up just as we would any other section. To keep things consistent, we have decided to post all WiiiWare reviews in the form of a limerick. This week we take a look at Contra Rebirth, a brand new must-own 2D Contra games. Oh, and ColorZ also showed up, whatever that is!
Contra Rebirth (Konami/$10)
There once was a soldier named Bill who lived his life for the thrill. He'd strangle a guard and shoot a robot from across the yard, but these days he's a champion of the grill!
ColorZ (Exkee/$7)
This game is "Color" with a "Z", which should immediately make you want to flee. You look like a mess when you don't use the "S", and I'll give you that spelling lesson for free!
The Great DSiWare Haiku
Not content with the Virtual Console and WiiWare, Nintendo has decided to offer up a THIRD avenue for downloading games. That's right, it's the DSiWare, and it's the best (and only) way to download games to your brand new Nintendo DSi. Each week we take a look at Nintendo's uploads through the form of poetry. Haiku, to be exact. Will this reviews help your purchase of DSiWare games? Nah, but they're a lot of fun to read. This week we check in with the Clubhouse Games Express to rap about their Family Favorites!
This week we complete the original Super Star Wars trilogy with (SURPRISE!) Super Return of the Jedi. As good as these games were, I'm glad we can finally stop talking about these early LucasArts games. Also be ready for DSi haikus and a Contra Rebirth limerick. All that and more can be yours in this week's Retro Round-Up!
Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (LucasGames)
What Is It?
After releasing both Super Star Wars and Super Empire Strikes Back, it was inevitable that Nintendo would eventually upload Super Return of the Jedi. As a fan of the original and an admirer of the second, I'm a little lukewarm when it comes to this Ewok-infused third installment. The game still has good graphics and easy to master gameplay, but a part of me felt like I was simply going through the motions. We get a number of Return of the Jedi-inspired levels and boss fights, but some of the game has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. You also have to deal with a punishing difficulty, including one of the hardest 16-bit boss battles I've ever come across. Fans of the movie will no doubt want to see how this trilogy ends, but I feel like maybe two games was my limit for this series. Still, the graphics are sharp and there's a lot of game here.
Does It Still Hold Up?
Super Return of the Jedi doesn't deviate much from Super Empire Strikes Back. You get the same controls, the same vehicle levels, the same power-ups, the same everything. It's really disappointing; I wish they would have used the opportunity to make some significant changes to Super Return of the Jedi. But, like the most recent movie prequels, LucasArts knew they could half-ass it knowing that people would buy anything with "Star Wars" in the title. I was hoping for more.
Is It Worth the Money?
If you're the type of person who beat the second game and wanted more of the same, then Super Return of the Jedi is for you. Everybody else may want to cautiously wait to see what Nintendo uploads next week. There is such thing has having too much of a good thing, and my fill of this franchise came towards the end of Super Empire Strikes Back. But be warned, Star Wars fans, this will likely be the final half-decent Star Wars game released on the Virtual Console.
WiiWare Limerick Theater
Every week Nintendo announces their new Virtual Console offerings. But what you may not know is that they also announce the newest games for the Wii's specialized WiiWare channel. This is the place where you can download cheap smaller games, the type of titles you would only pay a few dollars for. Thus far we haven't spent much time covering these hidden gems, but today that's going to end. Starting today we're going to cover the WiiWare line-up just as we would any other section. To keep things consistent, we have decided to post all WiiiWare reviews in the form of a limerick. This week we take a look at Contra Rebirth, a brand new must-own 2D Contra games. Oh, and ColorZ also showed up, whatever that is!
Contra Rebirth (Konami/$10)
There once was a soldier named Bill who lived his life for the thrill. He'd strangle a guard and shoot a robot from across the yard, but these days he's a champion of the grill!
ColorZ (Exkee/$7)
This game is "Color" with a "Z", which should immediately make you want to flee. You look like a mess when you don't use the "S", and I'll give you that spelling lesson for free!
The Great DSiWare Haiku
Not content with the Virtual Console and WiiWare, Nintendo has decided to offer up a THIRD avenue for downloading games. That's right, it's the DSiWare, and it's the best (and only) way to download games to your brand new Nintendo DSi. Each week we take a look at Nintendo's uploads through the form of poetry. Haiku, to be exact. Will this reviews help your purchase of DSiWare games? Nah, but they're a lot of fun to read. This week we check in with the Clubhouse Games Express to rap about their Family Favorites!
Clubhouse Games Express: Family Favorites (Nintendo/$5)
Family-friendly games!
It's a first for Nintendo!
No really, it is!
Family-friendly games!
It's a first for Nintendo!
No really, it is!
* The product in this article was sent to us by the developer/company.
About Author
It's questionable how accurate this is, but this is all that's known about Cyril Lachel: A struggling writer by trade, Cyril has been living off a diet of bad games, and a highly suspect amount of propaganda. Highly cynical, Cyril has taken to question what companies say and do, falling ever further into a form of delusional madness. With the help of quality games, and some greener pastures on the horizon, this back-to-basics newsman has returned to provide news so early in the morning that only insomniacs are awake.
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