"Families will have things, and you will have to go to those things," says a mush-mouthed UK guy in all black. "They don't know about...the joy of shooting aliens in the fooking face."
Cue Call of Duty's Inception-ized soundtrack and the high-octane extraction of male gamers chronically – tragically – misunderstood by girlfriends and family members. Despite the cheap stereotyping, the CODnapped victims' knowing smiles are priceless.
Piggybacking on "CODnapped" is a video rehashing details of the upcoming Call of Duty: Ghosts Onslaught downloadable content. Onslaught features four new richly-detailed maps: Fog, with its ax-wielding Michael Myers-masked killer and Cabin in the Woods aesthetic; Bayview, taking a trolley car ride of destruction under offshore Navy bombardment; Containment, steeped in a war-torn Mexican barrio; and Ignition, a NASA-fueled nightmare of jet blast and failed rocket tests. The all-new dual-purpose Maverick Assault/Sniper Rifle also has its moment to wreck shop.
And there's more footage of "Nightfall," the first of a four-part episodic Extinction narrative. Four-footed aliens teleport through blizzards, grappling humans with crustacean pincers and impaling them with crab-leg spikes. Honestly, it's not looking good for the home team.
Call of Duty: Ghosts Onslaught DLC will be available on Xbox 360 and Xbox One on January 28. Availability on other platforms to be announced.